Friday, August 15, 2014

Erin Markey is a New York based singer, comedian, performer, actress, and because of that, she's like 4x the ASSHOLE everyone else is.

Q. Why are you such an asshole? 

A. Because it's the most anxious body part and I am a psychological welcome wagon for those types of feelings.*

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Probably 'cause you're a woman.

Q. Who do you hate more: old ladies, puppies or fucking babies?

A. Those are the only kinds of creatures I ever want attention from so based on that I would say babies because of the three, it feels most humiliating to get rejected by a baby (of the three.)

Q. Why the fuck didn't you become a doctor?

A.  I told people I wanted to be a veterinarian after I went to a Gene Therapy Independent Study Camp for teens at Georgia Tech as a high school student.  But once you play Frenchie in Grease*, there's no going back.


Q. Does your mother know you are an asshole?

A. My mother has commanded me to "CARE" my entire life as a response to my mumbling "I don't care." Hard to know.

Q. If you could murder a concept, what concept would it be and why?

A. This is a trick question being used to identify the biggest assholes and I won't fall prey. My runner up answer was "chair" but essentially it's the same answer because I was too afraid of the trap to be passionately honest.

Q. What shows do you have coming up...oh wait, I don't care so don't fucking tell me. Seriously, don't answer this question.

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: FINALLY. A woman who knows her place and ACTUALLY does not open her yap to answer this question. THANK GOD.

Q. Do you know that by being a theater artist, you are automatically an asshole? 

A. I didn't know I was an asshole, I thought I was more of an idiot, but I like the agency that seems to be associated with asshole.  As a woman, that's empowering.

Q. Name 3 people you know who are bigger assholes than you. Feel free to explain or not, asshole.

A. Morgan Gould*, Becca Blackwell, Roy Cohn

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: You're so sexist. I'm the only woman on this list, and it's because I'm powerful and strong and a leader. IF I WERE A MAN, YOU WOULDN'T THINK I WAS AN ASSHOLE. YOU WOULD JUST THINK I WOULD MAKE A GOOD CEO. Such a double standard. I don't know how you live with yourself.

Q. Do you live in Williamsburg?

A. Greenpoint, so yes.

Q. Where are you from?

A. My people are from Michigan. I am too, but also other places like South Carolina and Georgia.

No comments:

Post a Comment