NYC lighting designer Mike Inwood is CANADIAN.
Happy Diversity Week to all our asshole neighbors to the North.
In America
Happy Diversity Week to all our asshole neighbors to the North.
Q. What's the Canadian
word for asshole?
A. American.
Q. Why are you such a
whatever that word is?
A. I've lived here
for almost 10 years now: it's rubbing off on me.
Q. Who do you hate
more people from Canada
A. Moose, but I'd
never say it to one's face (have you seen a moose up close? All us Canadians
have. They're huge).*
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: In your opinion, is Mike calling me fat?
Q. Why the fuck
didn't you become a doctor? Is it because in Canada
A. In Canada
Q. Does your mother
know you are an asshole? And how does she pronounce the word asshole?
A. She's the most
supportive woman you'll ever meet. I could phone my mom right now and tell her
I was planning a mass murdering rampage (American-style!) and she'd Fedex me
some bullets. Of course, bullets are harder to come by back home.
Q. What shows do
you have coming up...oh wait, I don't care so don't fucking tell me. Seriously,
don't answer this question. And REALLY don't answer it in fucking Canadian talk
or whatever.
A. Those Lost Boys at Ars Nova*.
It'll be a real beauty, eh?
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Mike, the asshole
Canadian that he is, provided all the links in his own interview. Except this
one. This one is alllllll mine.
Q. Do they
have theater in Canada
A. They do have
theatre, but there are only 10 theatre professionals and if you want to
work you have to wait for one of them to die.
Q. Name 3 people
you know who are bigger assholes than you. And you need to explain why, and
none of that nice Canadian shit.
A. Stephen Harper, Rob Ford, Don Cherry. You're welcome for
the cross-cultural education.*
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Hey! Hey! This is America
Q. Do you live in Williamsburg Canada
A. I live next to a
cemetery.
Q. Where are you
from?
A. You haven't been
reading very closely, have you?
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