Bailey Williams is a New York based playwright who also works for Antje Oegel.*
*NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: That's right, us #emerging! assholes all have two completely contrasting lives. One that exists in a small office that we regularly use to print illicit copies of our pathetic attempts to transcend our day jobs, and one that begins when our bosses finally decide we can leave! If we're lucky, we like the former. If we're not lucky, we will never admit that due to crippling amounts of student loan debt, we will always be the Jekyll and Hydes of the American Theatre! Thanks for the office supplies, though, folks!
PS I like my job.
PPS Look out for the WORLD PREMIERE of "Please Don't Fire Me!" a cite specific new play by Morgan Gould. It takes place in my office...after hours. I printed every page of it at Fedex.
PPPS Antje if you are reading this, my 9-5 self has had the great pleasure of working with Bailey's 9-5 self and she is extremely competent, helpful, and prompt in her replies.
PPPS Everyone else reading this: she is STILL an asshole.
Q. Why are you such an asshole?
A. I have an overdeveloped sense of entitlement and a drinking problem. I went to NYU for Dramatic Writing*. I recently spent time in a Floridian resort, where I complained loudly about the quality of the pina coladas. I have a personal blog**. There are a lot of things at work here.
*NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: I mean...I just...I don't even really have to say anything here.
**NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: WHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR POINT?
Q. Who do you like better your Mom or your Dad?
A. Neither. I don't like anyone.
Q. How much money would it take for you to be willing to steal candy from a baby? Literally. Or, how much would you pay someone for the privilege?
A. Nothing. I would do it for free. Babies need to learn about assholes early to better prepare them for life. It would be NICE of me to steal candy from every goddamn baby I see.